Scene:  A cafe.  One table is occupied by a group of Coders wearing horned helmets.  Whenever the word "scrum" is repeated, they begin singing and/or chanting.  JoJo and his pair Loretta enter.  JoJo is played by Eric Idle,  Loretta is played by Graham Chapman (in drag), and the Agile Coach is played by Terry Jones, also in drag.

JoJo:

You sit here, dear.

Loretta:

All right.

JoJo:

Morning!

Agile Coach:

Morning!

JoJo:

Well, what've you got?

Agile Coach:

Well, there's unit tests and refactoring; unit tests design and refactoring; unit tests and scrum; unit tests refactoring and scrum; unit tests refactoring design and scrum; scrum refactoring design and scrum; scrum unit tests scrum scrum refactoring and scrum; scrum design scrum scrum refactoring scrum requirements and scrum;

Coders:

Scrum scrum scrum scrum...

Agile Coach:

...scrum scrum scrum unit tests and scrum; scrum scrum scrum scrum scrum scrum UML scrum scrum scrum...

Coders:

Scrum! Lovely scrum! Lovely scrum!

Agile Coach:

...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried unit test on top and scrum.

Loretta:

Have you got anything without scrum?

Agile Coach:

Well, there's scrum unit tests design and scrum, that's not got much scrum in it.

Loretta:

I don't want ANY scrum!

JoJo:

Why can't she have unit tests refactoring scrum and design?

Loretta:

THAT'S got scrum in it!

JoJo:

Hasn't got as much scrum in it as scrum unit tests design and scrum, has it?

Coders:

Scrum scrum scrum scrum... (Crescendo through next few lines...)

Loretta:

Could you do the unit tests refactoring scrum and design without the scrum then?

Agile Coach:

Urgghh!

Loretta:

What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like scrum!

Coders:

Lovely scrum! Wonderful scrum!

Agile Coach:

Shut up!

Coders:

Lovely scrum! Wonderful scrum!

Agile Coach:

Shut up! (Coders stop) Bloody Coders! You can't have unit tests refactoring scrum and design without the scrum.

Loretta:

I don't like scrum!

JoJo:

Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your scrum. I love it. I'm having scrum scrum scrum scrum scrum scrum scrum UML scrum scrum scrum and scrum!

Coders:

Scrum scrum scrum scrum. Lovely scrum! Wonderful scrum!

Agile Coach:

Shut up!! UML are off.

JoJo:

Well could I have her scrum instead of the UML then?

Agile Coach:

You mean scrum scrum scrum scrum scrum scrum... (but it is too late and the Coders drown her words)

Coders:

(Singing elaborately...) Scrum scrum scrum scrum. Lovely scrum! Wonderful scrum! Scrum scr-u-u-u-u-um scrum scr-u-u-u-u-um scrum. Lovely scrum! Lovely scrum! Lovely scrum! Lovely scrum! Lovely scrum! Scrum scrum scrum scrum!